cat meows underwater. i don’t think you understand how much i’m crying right now.
Yeah but can we talk for a second about how the cat’s name is McLovin
oh my god i’m crying
Instagram snippet from (before) Friday night’s festivities, wherein I served as fireplay scene monitor and wingman extraordinaire.
"Umm, how can you be ‘semiaquatic’, you either are aquatic or you’re not. Don’t be greedy."
"So, I get that you’re a monotreme and everything, but do you identify more as a rodent or a bird?"
"Ugh, why do you have to be such a special snowflake. Do you and like three other species need an entire order to describe yourselves that separates you from mammals that birth live young?"
"You needlessly complicate an artificially constructed system of classification. Why don’t you just lose the webbed feet and beak and egg laying ways and become a proper mammal."
"Ha! You may look like you belong to class Aves, but I know for a fact that birds don’t have fur. You’re such a phony."
"Why do you insist on appropriating beaks and webbed feet. Like, you admitted you weren’t a bird, stop incorporating them into your anatomy. All you’re doing is making birds look less legitimate as an order."
Day off… *treats self*
Anonymous asked: Do you tend to get crushes on men in authority?
First, this is a REALLY good question, in that it encourages me to search for patterns different from the ones I’ve already tracked. So… thanks, anon! (BTW, guys, more seemingly inane questions are absolutely welcomed.)
It depends on what you designate as “authority.”
I have an innate repulsion towards people who overtly throw their weight around or whose “authority” comes at the expense of those around them. This can manifest in more subtle ways - e.g. viewing your friends or lovers as an audience or an outlet, viewing others in the context of your own actions or priorities (“I showed restraint by not lashing out at them”).
I’ve dated someone who’s an incredible storyteller… of his own adventures. When he enters a room, he takes over the room. He becomes an authority figure. Everyone’s listening, laughing, on bated breath. Everyone uses him as a metric, a gauge by which their worth is evaluated. When someone get a word in edgewise, does he laugh? This particular brand of self-effacement doesn’t lend itself to lust… but damn, does it lead to dependence.
I don’t know. Most people who I’ve been genuinely drawn to, in the past, have had a quieter, more fluid energy about them. They’re positive, thoughtful, playful, questioning, humble, dynamic, striving. Yeah, they know their stuff, so they may be an authority in their field - they specialize in a field or three. When they’re not at work, they’re still geeks for their field, but they aren’t eager to show off or talk about their skills. They just want to learn more. To connect. To tease. To play.
They’re the ones that you want as authority figures/leaders because of their skills and their capacity to empathize, but they’re not the ones who end up as authority figures/leaders because being in a position of “authority” IRL doesn’t really get ‘em off.
Does that make sense?
I mean, that doesn’t mean I don’t want them to grab my hair and guide me as I melt to my knees, buuuuut….
It’s time for Truth or Truth! Ask me things. Gif responses given if actual answer confidential.
- finished Sherlock season 3 (and can now elaborate on why I didn’t like it)
- finished House of Cards season 1
- rough mental health day had positive, directional overall results
- started final-draft signage for Whovian camp space at Playa del Fuego
- obtained Burning Man ticket! (with immense thanks to M for his help. <3)
- started logo design for local polyamory group - due midweek this week
- mustered the guts to reach out to local calligraphic resource for brief advice
- learned how to use a Pilot Parallel Pen to make things like this
- discovered NZ-style pie place within a quick walk from K’s house
- got to fold K’s laundry. :3 (Fun fact for followers! The fastest way to make Hwaaa serene is to give her laundry to fold. Seriously.)
- refined service dynamics with K, negotiated boundaries/limits/preferences in anticipation of play, and got a delightful taste of what’s to come. :D
- deliberately expanded beer repertoire, finding some new favorites in the process (Strangeways Honey Saison, Devil’s Backbone Dark Abby)
- found unexpected areas of connection and mutual validation with P!
- brainstormed scenes with Z!
- re-purpled hair
This week’s looking to be pretty delightful, too. Allons-y…
Having a really rough mental health day. Possibly productive kind of rough, but rough nonetheless.
I used to pride myself on my verbal adeptness/articulateness, sense of humor and timing, and analytical skills… And now I feel like they’ve become huge weaknesses that prompt cyclical self-fulfilling insecurity and anxiety.
Any thoughts from followers who know me IRL would be greatly appreciated.
well that escalated quickly
My hair when I let it air-dry… The good, the bad, and the “wait wat r u doing”
I call these my Medusa tendrils.
Alpacas are so much fucking cuter then llamas.
YOU FORGOT THE FOLLOWING POINTS:
- LLAMAS HAVE BIG ASS TEETH TO RIP OUT YOUR FUCKING THROAT
- ALPACAS HAVE FUZZY LIPS TO NUZZLE YOU GENTLY TO SLEEP
- LLAMAS WILL CHARGE AFTER YOU IF THEY SMELL FOOD AND FEAR
- ALPACAS AMBLE ALONG LIKE THE WORLD IS MADE OF GUMDROPS
- LLAMAS ARE THE FUCKING DEVIL INCARNATE
- ALPACAS ARE NOT THE FUCKING DEVIL INCARNATE
things your friends will say if you’ve made a good pun:
- get out
- fuck you
- shut the fuck up
- oh my god why
- you need to stop
- you’re not funny
- that was terrible
Almost by definition, the best puns are universally praised with the adjective ‘terrible’ by those that just don’t get it, and by hysterical laughter by the portion of the population worth associating with.
Kind of want to wallpaper my office with this…
Washoe was a chimp who was taught sign language.
One of Washoe’s caretakers was pregnant and missed work for many weeks after she miscarried. Roger Fouts recounts the following situation:
"People who should be there for her and aren’t are often given the cold shoulder—her way of informing them that she’s miffed at them. Washoe greeted Kat [the caretaker] in just this way when she finally returned to work with the chimps. Kat made her apologies to Washoe, then decided to tell her the truth, signing "MY BABY DIED." Washoe stared at her, then looked down. She finally peered into Kat’s eyes again and carefully signed "CRY", touching her cheek and drawing her finger down the path a tear would make on a human (Chimpanzees don’t shed tears). Kat later remarked that one sign told her more about Washoe and her mental capabilities than all her longer, grammatically perfect sentences." 
more about Washoe:
after the death of her children, researchers were determined to have Washoe raise a baby and brought in a ten month chimpanzee named Loulis. one of the caretakers went to Washoe’s enclosure and signed “i have a baby for you.” Washoe became incredibly excited, yelling and swaying from side to side, signing “baby” over and over again. then she signed “my baby.”
the caretaker came back with Loulis, and Washoe’s excitement disappeared entirely. she refused to pick Loulis up, instead signing “baby” apathetically; it was clear that the baby she thought she was getting was going to be Sequoyah. eventually Washoe did approach Loulis, and by the next day the two had bonded and from then on she was utterly devoted to him.
*information shamelessly paraphrased from When Elephants Weep by Jeffrey Masson.
Even more interestingly, after Washoe and Loulis bonded, she started teaching him American Sign Language the same way that human parents teach their children language. It only took Loulis eight days to learn his first sign from Washoe, and aside from the seven that his human handlers learned around him, he learned to speak in ASL just as fluently as Washoe and was able to communicate with humans in the same way she could.
now if y’all don’t think this is the tightest shit you can get outta my face